When I began thinking of joining the Surrogacy family at Central Coast Surrogacy, LLC I thought long and hard about whether I could take the leap and match with a family I hardly new at first. Was I good enough for them? Where my intentions true and honest with myself, and with them? What would everyone think? Was I ready to hear what they all thought? Slowly I began tossing the idea around with friends and family and came up with this list of top 5 responses and the truth behind them.
5. You REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like being pregnant!
Truth be told I really do enjoy feeling little feet and hands punching me from the inside. But no. I cannot honestly say I liked every hour of every day while carrying my children. I did gain weight with every baby. And a lot. I did miss out on some of my children's events while pregnant with their siblings and felt horrible. I miss wearing normal clothes and fitting in the drivers seat of my car. I did have moments of temporary insanity when I yelled at the kid at Burger King for putting ketchup on my burger. And crying at commercials, yes, that is me.
4. Pregnancy must be sooooo easy for you!
Over all I did carry my children full term and had uneventful vaginal births, BUT..... Yes I do get morning sickness. So bad that I am in bed every evening by 6pm for 3 weeks straight trying not to lose that days food. I do get back pain. The last couple weeks I wake every 30 minutes to try and roll over and get comfortable. I do get round ligament pain. No lie. It hurts! It's not soooo easy I am just super hard core!
3. Your hormones must be off, like biological clock ticking off!
No! I am still young! Still many years left! Honestly, no I did not hear any clock ticking. This was not founded in a deep rooted desire to have any children for myself. I am not in any way any more hormonal right now than I was 2 years prior, or even 5 years prior.
2. So your husband said no to having another baby?
Again, no. This is in no way because I want another baby of my own. No biological clock ticking. No spouse saying no to my desire to have more kids. I do not even want more children of my own. This desire is strictly out of a desire to do something big for someone else. An ultimate gift.
1. You are in it for the money!
Really? I am not going to lie. The extra funds coming in to our home is nice. BUT when you do the math......extreme babysitting style.....24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 30ish days a month, for 9 months. Injectable medications, possible bed rest, being sick, being tired, worrying more so than with your own children, the money is really a compensation that is far below what and child care provider would earn. And believe me, if you put a dollar amount on when we moms should earn, this is not about the money.
So why did I start to desire to help another family. Not for any one reason above or to the extent that people thought, but a mix of reasons that when combined weighed heavily on my decision. I love helping other people. I love watching my children grow up. I wanted to help another woman be able to watch her baby grow up. I wanted to give in a way that only a woman could give. Full heartedly enter an agreement where I would not judge the family who needed me as a Surrogate. I would be open to work with anyone wanting to be parent. I would make this THEIR pregnancy. I would endure the downs without much complaint and share the joys for them. And yes, I did think the compensation would help my family as well. I would be lying if I said it was not nice. But it was not the main reason I considered Surrogacy. So for all you women out their considering Surrogacy, look within yourself. Understand that this is the single most precious gift that anyone can give. And do not take to heart the assumptions of others who cannot fully understand where you are coming from.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Sunday, October 26, 2014
My journey as a Surrogate Mother started in September 2012. I myself had 2 surgeries to remove endometriosis from my ovaries before having my own children. I understand the fear of possibly not being able to conceive naturally, so once my family was complete I promised to help others. It took me 2 years after my last was born to take the leap. And this leap led to a journey I am forever thankful for. I blindly went in to this journey, not having met my Intended Father before hand. I had some second thoughts. My feet felt cold. My hands were shaking. I asked to be guided in the right direction and jumped in feet first. I gathered my birth records, completed my background check, my husband and I were psychologically cleared and finally....I met my endocrinologist and had my IVF clearance ad signed my legal contract. It was official. My transfer date was set ad I began to take both estrogen and progesterone to prepare my uterus to accept 2 embryos.
My Intended Father was present for the transfer and I was surrounded by the great staff at HRC. It was a short and sweet experience. My 6-year-old daughter was present the entire time. She was amazed to see "baby seeds" put in to mommy and hoped they would "sprout". And sprout they did. I carried 2 beautiful fraternal twin daughters for my Intended Father, who resided in China. I kept contact with him through my agency relaying messages and pictures. I had an amazing support system with my case worker available and relied on my family to help me with the day to day joys of carrying twins. The first trimester flew by. I had little morning sickness and was still active with my family and work. At 11 weeks I was able to stop the progesterone injections and carry on as I would my own pregnancy. My second trimester passed uneventfully as well. The babies grew on schedule and reminded me of their presence daily. It was amazing to see 2 babies moving at once. My children told everyone, EVERYONE, I was not carrying my babies. I was carrying Chinese babies. Haha. The looks I got.
Finally the third trimester! I had been seeing my family OB for this pregnancy, who was confident in my ability to deliver vaginally. Baby A had her head down by 30 weeks and was wedged into place. By 33 weeks I was big and full! By 35 week my OB said....Any day now. My Intended Father was on stand by. Yet I continued my daily life. I was still active and working from home. Days came and went. Thirty-six weeks, 37 weeks, ........ ok, induction scheduled at 37.5 weeks. It was time. I was huge and unable to eat any more. No room! I checked in my room and started an induction. I had my friend stay my home with my kids and my husband by my side. The first 24 hours was preparing my body for birth. Then active labor began.
I was wheeled to the OR in case I needed an emergency c-section, but I knew I would not! I was determined. I was 10cm dilated and ready! I pushed for 5 minutes before Baby A arrived. Short and sweet little cry. She was here!
Then it was time to start pushing again. It took 61 minutes for her sister to be born. Just as beautiful as the first little girl was a second.
Two healthy baby girls. My Intended Father was beside himself. My husband was snapping a million pictures of the entire journey. Fifteen pounds of baby and a huge combined placenta had been housed in my for 9 months. no longer. The human body never ceases to amaze me. I did that! I helped make those! Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT!
I am blessed to say that I delivered 2 beautiful and healthy girls in May 23, 2013.
And from this experience my family grew. Every Surrogacy experience is different. I became friends with my Intended Father and was able to bring my Surrogated babies home to meet my children. And today they are joined with siblings from another Surrogate mother as well. It is amazing to watch them grow and develop and to know, that Surrogacy made this all possible.
Blessed is my Intended Father, his children, and my family as well.
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