When I began thinking of joining the Surrogacy family at Central Coast Surrogacy, LLC I thought long and hard about whether I could take the leap and match with a family I hardly new at first. Was I good enough for them? Where my intentions true and honest with myself, and with them? What would everyone think? Was I ready to hear what they all thought? Slowly I began tossing the idea around with friends and family and came up with this list of top 5 responses and the truth behind them.
5. You REALLY, REALLY, REALLY like being pregnant!
Truth be told I really do enjoy feeling little feet and hands punching me from the inside. But no. I cannot honestly say I liked every hour of every day while carrying my children. I did gain weight with every baby. And a lot. I did miss out on some of my children's events while pregnant with their siblings and felt horrible. I miss wearing normal clothes and fitting in the drivers seat of my car. I did have moments of temporary insanity when I yelled at the kid at Burger King for putting ketchup on my burger. And crying at commercials, yes, that is me.
4. Pregnancy must be sooooo easy for you!
Over all I did carry my children full term and had uneventful vaginal births, BUT..... Yes I do get morning sickness. So bad that I am in bed every evening by 6pm for 3 weeks straight trying not to lose that days food. I do get back pain. The last couple weeks I wake every 30 minutes to try and roll over and get comfortable. I do get round ligament pain. No lie. It hurts! It's not soooo easy I am just super hard core!
3. Your hormones must be off, like biological clock ticking off!
No! I am still young! Still many years left! Honestly, no I did not hear any clock ticking. This was not founded in a deep rooted desire to have any children for myself. I am not in any way any more hormonal right now than I was 2 years prior, or even 5 years prior.
2. So your husband said no to having another baby?
Again, no. This is in no way because I want another baby of my own. No biological clock ticking. No spouse saying no to my desire to have more kids. I do not even want more children of my own. This desire is strictly out of a desire to do something big for someone else. An ultimate gift.
1. You are in it for the money!
Really? I am not going to lie. The extra funds coming in to our home is nice. BUT when you do the math......extreme babysitting style.....24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 30ish days a month, for 9 months. Injectable medications, possible bed rest, being sick, being tired, worrying more so than with your own children, the money is really a compensation that is far below what and child care provider would earn. And believe me, if you put a dollar amount on when we moms should earn, this is not about the money.
So why did I start to desire to help another family. Not for any one reason above or to the extent that people thought, but a mix of reasons that when combined weighed heavily on my decision. I love helping other people. I love watching my children grow up. I wanted to help another woman be able to watch her baby grow up. I wanted to give in a way that only a woman could give. Full heartedly enter an agreement where I would not judge the family who needed me as a Surrogate. I would be open to work with anyone wanting to be parent. I would make this THEIR pregnancy. I would endure the downs without much complaint and share the joys for them. And yes, I did think the compensation would help my family as well. I would be lying if I said it was not nice. But it was not the main reason I considered Surrogacy. So for all you women out their considering Surrogacy, look within yourself. Understand that this is the single most precious gift that anyone can give. And do not take to heart the assumptions of others who cannot fully understand where you are coming from.